Brécs' posts with tag: wakakakaks...
|  | Only in Grobogan, Central Java |
 Rabu, 9 April 2008 | 19:15 WIB JAKARTA, RABU - Kehidupan seksual di dunia hewan diwarnai kompetisi sehingga setiap individu menerapkan strategi berbeda-beda untuk bersaing. Hewan yang berukuran tubuh besar umumnya cenderung menang karena kekuatannya. Sementara hewan yang bertubuh kecil biasanya mengembangkan daya tarik berbeda agar tidak selalu kalah.
Strategi seks yang berbeda-beda ini terbukti berlaku pada populasi kumbang pohon Librodor japonicus yang hidup dari mengisap cairan batang pohon oak. Pakar ekologi evolusi Takahisa Miyatake dari Universitas Okayama Jepang dan koleganya membagi strategi kumbang yang dapat ditemui di seruh wilayah Jepang tersebut menjadi tiga golongan berdasarkan ukuran tubuhnya.
Kumbang jantan yang berukuran besar mengandalkan kekuatan capit rahangnya untuk bertarung. Mereka biasanya menunggu di lokasi yang sering didatangi kumbang betina, misalnya sumber makanan. Kumbang yang lebih kecil akan diusir dari lokasi tersebut.
Meski kalah besar, kumbang yang berukuran sedang memiliki sayap lebih besar. Dengan demikina, kumbang sedang punya kemampuan terbang lebih jauh dan lama untuk mencari lokasi-lokasi berkumpulnya kumbang betina yang tidak dijamah kumbang paling besar.
Testis besar
Sementara kumbang yang paling kecil tidak akan minder karena diciptakan dengan testis paling besar di antara pesaingnya. Kelompok ini berani bersaing dengan kumbang besar meski tak berhadap-hadapan lansgung. Mereka mencuri-curi kesempatan merayu kumbang betina saat kumbang besar tak ada di dekatnya.
Peluangnya kawin dan mendapat pasangan mungkin tak kalah. Sebab, testis besar menunjukkan bahwa kumbang jantan tersebut menghasilkan sperma lebih banyak yang berpotensi menghasilkan lebih banyak keturunan.
Nah, dengan begini, semua pasti kebagian pasangan. Adil juga ya alam mengaturnya?
(LIVESCIENCE/WAH) Sumber: http://www.kompas.com/index.php/read/xml/2008/04/09/19151799/tubuh.kecil.tapi.testis.besar
| | siang itu sekitar jam 1. di luar smoking section, sebuah henpon berdering. milik seorang perempuan muda yang baru mudik ke negerinya...
beth: halo mas...
brecs: beth, kamu di mana?
beth: aku udah nyampe di kedai mitra nih, baru ngobrol sama mbak indri...
brecs: wah, sori beth, kayaknya gw terlambat nih...
beth: emang lagi di mana sih?
brecs: ini gw lagi motret. ada 2 sasaran kendid cakep-cakep nih... yang satu pakai kaos putih, yang satunya lagi pakai baju abu-abu rambutnya panjang berombak tergerai indah...
beth: heh??!! sialaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnn!!!! (sembari nengok ke belakang dan nunjuk2)
brecs: huahahahahahaha.... |
| | daripada suntuk ngeliat message board yang padet dengan reposting mp3, yang hari ini mencapai 450 bijis, and counting....
silakan diketawain lageeeeeeeee.... :))
huahahahahaha.... |
 it's already been confirmed that adam and eve were not chinese. if they were so, they would have eaten the snake and sold the apple, and we would still live in the paradise garden of eden.
gong xi fa chai... 
| | lagaknya mau motret, ujung-ujungnya... :D
sisa hasil usaha PTD Batmus
27 Jan 08 |
| | Yoyok
on EOS 30D
Rawamangun, 20 Nov 2007
|
anak monyet: KOWE
anak maling: gentho
anak gajah: bledug
anak macan: gogor
anak angsa: blengur
anak bebek: meri
anak menthog: minthi
anak ayam: kuthuk
anak burung: piyik
anak kuda: belo
anak sapi: pedhet
anak kebo: gudel
anak kambing: cempe
anak babi & celeng: genjik
anak tikus: cindhil
anak kucing: cemeng
anak anjing: kirik
anak kecoak: cere
anak cicak: sawiyah
anak buaya: krete
anak ikan bandeng: nener
anak ikan deleg: uceng
anak setan: hayo ngacung!!!!!
Masa gw dibilang ganteng!
 Fitnah kan??!!!
1. Ade
"Aku tadi nggumun, kok ada yang melambai dan senyam senyum ke arahku itu siapa yaa, secara aku merasa blom pernah liat orangnya.... Oh, ternyata Mas Sabri toh... tiwas keGRan."
::Halah, emangnya lo ngarepin siapa yang menyapa dan senyam senyum kepadamu? Nicholas Saputra? :pp::
"Nanti aku dikenalin sama Moris ya Mas, dulu dia bilang dia liat aku waktu reuni Kagama di TMII, tapi katanya dia malu mau nyapa aku..."
:: Moris pemalu??? gubrakzzz::
2. WirdaY
 "Sabri, kamu dateng sama istrimu? Emangnya udah merid? Kata Moris beberapa hari lalu, kok kamu belom merid?" :D
::Hihihihi.... Moris kan emang sumber gosip yang tidak layak dipercaya kebenarannya.... :DDD::
3. Moris
 "Yok kita umumken, KAGAMA unit MP supaya ngumpul sebentar di pojokan sana..."
brecs: "Iya, sudah ada 4 orang lho, aku, kamu, Ade, dan istriku. Mungkin ada anggota Kagama yang laen yang juga dateng."
Ade: "Yo, aku manut wae... Mas Moris silakan maju ke panggung ngumumken..."
Moris: kaburrr....
4. Prima
 "Mas, kamu punya peluang yang sangat besarrrr untuk mendapatkan bisnis yang sangat baguss..."
::ehm, ehm...::
5. Pritha
 "Om brecs monitor?"
"Dicopy..."
"Om, tolongin Ari angkut barang ya, tuh kaos-kaosnya belum diangkut semuah. Roger?"
::dzigh!!! dzigh!!!::
6. Jeng Sar
 "Om brecs, tolong bantuin pindahin meja marmer itu yaaaa..."
"Pindahin ke mana?"
"...dari dalem rumah itu ke tengah arena..."
::berat kaleee... mending kalo abis itu dipijitin!!! :pp ::
7. Ingrid
 "Woi, sinih poto berdua gw!"
::huhuy!::
8. Vito dan Aksa
"Om, om, rasaiin tuuuu.... badannya om dipanjat ama Spiderman!!!" sambil menggerayangkan boneka Spiderman item di punggungku.
::halah!::my favorite guests: the Red-and-White twins Vito and Aksa  ::candid by Niken::
Lambe njedir, watake koyo luwak....
hahahahaha....
may piss be upon you...
Pemilik:
Maaf ya. Selama ini memang kita berteman, dan saya anggap kamu teman yang terbaik, bahkan kamu sudah saya anggap sebagai saudara sendiri. Tapi saya tidak menyangka bila ternyata kamu adalah teman yang tidak setia kawan, tidak menepati janji.
Saya minta dari lubuk hati yang paling dalam, agar kamu mau jujur kepada saya, walaupun untuk kali ini saja. Tolong kamu katakan, "DI MANA KAMU SEMBUNYIKAN PESAWAT ADAMAIRku??!!"
Rekanan:
Begini ya. Seumur hidupku, belum pernah aku menemukan partner bisnis yang lebih baik dari kamu. Setiap order darimu selalu kukerjakan dengan sepenuh hati dan tuntas. Itulah sebabnya kita bisa menjadi teman baik, bahkan seperti saudara sendiri. Oleh karenanya, aku ikhlas membantumu mencari pesawat BOEING 737 SERIE 300 itu, meskipun belum kita bicarakan anggarannya.
Namun apa daya, yang kutemukan di lapangan berbeda dengan keteranganmu. Nah, sebagai saudara, sekarang tolong kamu katakan sejujurnya kepadaku, "SIAPA YANG NGGANTI MESIN BOEING ITU DENGAN JIALING???!!!"
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support
employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator:
“Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?”
Caller: “Yes, well, I’m
having trouble with WordPerfect.”
Operator: “What sort of
trouble??”
Caller: “Well, I was just
typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.”
Operator: “Went away?” Caller: “They disappeared.”
Operator: “Hmm... So what
does your screen look like now?” Caller: “Nothing.”
Operator: “Nothing??”
Caller: “It’s blank; it won’t
accept anything when I type.”
Operator:
“Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??”
Caller: “How do I tell?”
Operator: “Can you see the C:
prompt on the screen??”
Caller: “What’s a sea-prompt?”
Operator: “Never mind, can
you move your cursor around the screen?”
Caller: “There isn’t any
cursor: I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.”
Operator:
“Does your monitor have a power indicator??”
Caller: “What’s a monitor?”
Operator: “It’s the thing
with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that
tells you when it’s on??”
Caller: “I don’t know.”
Operator:
“Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes
into it. Can you see that??”
Caller :”Yes, I think so.”
Operator: “Great. Follow the
cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.”
Caller: “Yes, it is.”
Operator: “When you were
behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the
back of it, not just one??”
Caller: “No.”
Operator: “Well, there are. I
need you to look back there again and find the other cable.”
Caller: “Okay, here it is.”
Operator: “Follow it for me,
and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.”
Caller: “I can’t reach.”
Operator: “Uh huh. Well, can
you see if it is??”
Caller: “No.”
Operator: “Even if you maybe
put your knee on something and lean way over??”
Caller: “Oh, it’s not because
I don’t have the right angle - it’s because it’s dark.”
Operator:
“Dark??”
Caller: “Yes - the office light
is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.”
Operator: “Well, turn on the
office light then.”
Caller: “I can’t.”
Operator: “No? Why not??”
Caller: “Because there’s a
power failure.”
Operator:
“A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you
still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??”
Caller: “Well, yes, I keep
them in the closet.”
Operator: “Good. Go get them,
and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then
take it back to the store you bought it from.”
Caller:
“Really? Is it that bad?”
Operator: “Yes, I’m afraid it
is.”
Caller: “Well, all right
then, I suppose. What do I tell them??”
Operator: “Tell them you’re too f*%king stupid to own a computer!!!!!”
Little
Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was
making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time
to tell his mother what he wanted.
”Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.”
Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school
and at home. Bobby's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike
for his birthday. Little Bobby, of
course, thought he did.
Bobby's mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last year.
”Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year. Then
write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday.”
Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a
letter.
Letter 1
Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday.
I want a red one.
Your friend,
Bobby
Bobby knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year, so
he tore up the letter and started over.
Letter 2
Dear God,
This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year and I would like a
red bike for my birthday. Thank you.
Your friend,
Bobby
Bobby knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and started
again.
Letter 3
Dear God,
I have been an OK boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my
birthday.
Bobby
Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby wrote a
fourth letter.
Letter 4
God,
I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry.
I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday.
Please! Thank you,
Bobby
Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike.
Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted
to go to church. Bobby's mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby looked very sad.
”Just be home in time for dinner,” Bobby's mother told him.
Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner.
Little Bobby went into the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see
if anyone was there. Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the Mary. He
slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street,
into the house, and up to his room.
He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen. Bobby began to write his letter to God.
Letter 5
God,
I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE!!!!!!
Ini adalah beberapa posisi S E X terbaru yang bermanfaat untuk menyehatkan jiwa dan raga. Posisi2 SEX ini terutama sangat bermanfaat bagi mereka yang menghendaki untuk mengencangkan perut.
Agar terasa khasiatnya, sangat direkomendasikan untuk langsung dipraktekkan sembari Anda membaca attachment di bawah ini.
Selamat menikmati... Attachment: ANEKA Posisi Sex.pps
 | KENTUT | Dec 22, '06 4:56 AM
for everyone |
Orang SINGAPORE
kentut bilang I'M SORRY.
Orang AMERIKA kentut bilang EXCUSE ME.
Orang British
kentut bilang PARDON ME.
Kalo orang Indonesia kentut,
pasti bilang NOT ME!! NOT ME!!!!
HOLLAND
Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies
ITALY
I Trust And Love You
LIBYA
Love Is Beautiful, You Also
FRANCE
Friendships Remain And Never Can End
CHINA
Come Here, I Need Affection
BURMA
Between Us, Remember Me Always
NEPAL
Never Ever Part As Lovers
INDIA
I Nearly Died In Adoration
KENYA
Keep Everything Nice, Yet Arousing
CANADA
Cute And Naughty Action that Developed into Attraction
KOREA
Keep Optimistic Regardless of Every Adversity
EGYPT
Everything's Great, You Pretty Thing!
MANILA
May All Nights Inspire Love Always
PERU
Phorget Everyone... Remember Us
THAILAND
Totally Happy, Always In Love And Never Dull
JAKARTA
Jambret Ada, Koruptor Ada, Rampok Tentu Ada
Mujibar was trying t o get a job in
India.
The Personnel Manager said, "Mujibar, you have passed all the
tests, except one. Unless you pass it you cannot qualify for this
job."
Mujibar said, "I am ready."
The manager said, "Make a
sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green."
Mujibar thought for
a few minutes and said, "Mister manager, I am ready."
The manager
said, "Go ahead."
Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green, and
I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow, this is Mujibar.'"
Mujibar now works as a
technician at a call center for computer problems.
No doubt you have
spoken to him.
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